January, 2008

Hello Everyone,

Valentine's Weekend Workshop

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Beginners Mind in the New Year

(Inspired by Soul Motion Dance at Esalen with Zuza Engler)

There was a time, in the beginning of relationship, when everything was just as it should be. Even longing felt deeply satisfying. Then, after the honeymoon, harder times came along with the thought, "things are not as they should be."

I want to invite you, with me, to begin again…In this a New Year…In this coming of the light…In this quiet, still place between the out breath and the in breath. Begin here — before habits of turning away are triggered, before personal history moves to shape the moment — now — drink deeply from this great font of aware possibility.

"Enter the bowl of vastness that is the heart.

Give yourself to it with total abandon.

Quiet ecstasy is there -

and a steady, regal sense of resting in a perfect spot.

Once you know the way

the nature of attention will call you

to return, again and again,

and be saturated with knowing.

'I belong here, I am at home here'."

(modified Lorin Roche translation of unknown Sutra)

Let your experience be your partner in this moment. Open to the dance. Things are just as they should be - my history and the way that I have faced it, or not faced it, your history and the way you have faced it, or not faced it, what has been passed on to us — all of this colors what we see and is part of what is. Before moving forward, fully accept the truth of who you are. Feel this truth with every cell of your body. Does your heart want to break? Do your eyes want to avert? Are you afraid of experiencing the life that you are? Do you long for more? Can you even stand what you have?

Dance with this truth, then begin again.

Stay connected to this internal dance, even as you turn toward your partner, or perhaps especially then. Begin again. Accept this moment. Open to this other. Allow yourself to be impacted. Gracefully reflect the hurt, the need, the longing in your dance. Your hurt, need, longing is absorbed, reflected back.

Bring a commitment to begin again, in this moment, to this moment.