In this newsletter

• Comments: Slow down and smell the flowers (not only are they beautiful and intoxicating, they are the sex organs of plants!).

• Tips for an erotic May Day date.

• Fall in Love weekend in October at beautiful new location (see pictures).

• Uncovering Desire - A daylong workshop for women with Felicia in October.

• Presentation at the Northern California Group Psychotherapy Association conference.

Dear Friends,

How quickly life flies by. It seems that every day someone complains to me about how our culture makes it so difficult to stay present with the valuable moments in life.

And sometimes it is me doing the complaining! I find myself working, worrying, planning for the future and tuning out all too often.

One theory, based on brain anatomy, says that time will continue to go by faster as we get older, due to inevitable brain changes.

Well I suppose we will all die, but let's support one another to live as fully as possible and for as long as we can continue finding meaning in our lives.

Take time to smell the flowers.

And speaking of flowers, May Day is nearly here, a time long associated with feasts and rituals honoring fertility and sexuality. In Celtic traditions this time was called Beltane, which means fire of Bel; Belinos being one name for the Sun God. It marks the time between the Spring equinox and the Summer solstice.

Some old Celtic ceremonies involved young people spending the night in the woods "A-Maying," and then coming to dance around the phallic Maypole the next morning. Marriages of a year and a day could be initiated by jumping over the fire together. Married couples were allowed to remove their wedding rings (and the restrictions they imply) for this one night. May morning was regarded as a magical time when water was gathered from dew, flowing streams, and springs and used to bathe in for beauty, or to drink for health.

Every culture must develop ways to hold the sanctity of marriage within the exuberant life energies which come through sexuality. Some say that our, American culture, with a fifty percent divorce rate, etc. is doing a particularly poor job of this. A very complex subject, but let me just say that After the Honeymoon attempts to do just this — to help committed couples stay committed by providing structures to incorporate all aspects of relationship, including sexuality.

Tips for an erotic May Day date

May Day, or Beltane is the perfect time for a special date. Be creative and find ways to incorporate flowers, fire and specially collected "wild" waters in your time together. Here are some ideas you may want to try. If you like living a little on the wild side, create a comfortable spot in your garden or any outdoor spot that is private enough to evoke the energy of fertility through juicy sexuality. The night before May first is an especially auspicious time for this. Or try decorating your room with several vases of flowers to create a fragrant and beautiful May Day date. Rose petals in a bath can be nice as well. Be creative. Also there are many public May Day celebrations around. Take a chance to show up as a family.

Our next erotic partnership weekend is October 10 and 11th.

We are calling this workshop "Fall" In Love. We will be trying a new location for this Falling In Love workshop. We have found a space in Sebastopol that is really lovely. Here's What the meeting space looks like.

We anticipate that the beauty of the space will add to the opening.

Letter from a client in our last workshop:

Thank you once again for a wonderful weekend workshop. (My husband) and I have been in counseling for years. We've worked very hard and accomplished good things in terms of our mutual growth and understanding. But before your workshop we hadn't been able to add any fun and vitality to our sexual relationship. Your workshop has helped us turn a corner. I have in the past objected so to "sex dates." But you helped me to see what would be needed to make them sexy. We've been having our weekly ritual with great success. We have even found out that we can have sex outside the sex date! And we've brought many new adventures to our times together. Alongside all this positive change we've even engaged in some pretty loaded conflict. It has been gratifying to find out that we can negotiate the conflict and still have a sexual relationship.

Reserve your space and get the early registration fee by going to the web site and signing up now — afterthehoneymoon.org.

All New Workshop for Women

Uncovering Desire- A Day for Women with Low Sexual Desire

Felicia is offering a day exclusively for women who want to explore the complex topic of sexual desire. Through discussion and creative embodiment exercises, women will investigate the barriers to desire and seek to awaken inherent passions. This promises to be an exciting day that offers the safety and spontaneity that comes when women gather together. Don't miss this rare opportunity.

October 25, 2008

Reserve your space and get the early registration fee by going to the web site and signing up now — afterthehoneymoon.org.

We are presenting a day-long After the Honeymoon workshop at the Northern California Group Psychotherapy Association conference at Asilomar during the first week of June.

In my experience, group therapists seem to be one of the most accepting and fun loving groups of therapists as a whole. The NCGPS conference is designed to provide in-depth training opportunities, personal development, and an enjoyable, relaxing vacation. Perfect for After The Honeymoon!

This is an opportunity for psychologists to receive CEUs for working with us. (MFTs and LCSWs can always receive CEUs.)

As spring sweetens and the weather warms, take the time to see, touch and smell the flowers.

Warm regards.

Jim and Felicia